I love the fake conversations that parents have with each other when thrown together by offspring related circumstance (birthday, park, line for Bryant Park carousel, etc.). It’s more entertaining than the fake conversations I used to have with uninteresting girls at random house parties (I used to tell them that I was the third chair French horn player at the Philharmonic…Man, I haven’t been to a party in years.)

My webfriend Metrodad has blown the lid on phony fathers and mothers with his parentionary. A handy reference to decipher the disdain behind the false deference. Some excerpts:

What an adorable little newborn baby! = Holy shit, your kid is ugly!

I love your daughter’s curly locks. = Your daughter is Black.

Your daughter has such a beautiful skintone. = Your daughter is Latino.

Very funny stuff.