This is an interesting topic for dads, because as they go forward, becoming more involved in the siring of the young, we face this conflict that mothers and non-mothers have faced forever. In the classic ladies’ version of this engagement of ideals, mothers inevitably occupy the high-ground and have better ammunition. Working moms, alpha moms, reborn stay at home moms, mothers have gone forward and segmented their success. On the other side of the battle, things are a little sparse. Spinster magazine anyone?

I thought that fathers would fall out in a different sort of arrangement, but it is remarkably similar. In the boy’s version the slight twist it that, there is a palpable sense of desertion on both sides. A new father defects from his cadre of lads and the lads in turn leave him to his newly formed team. I became aware of this in a discussion with a long-time friend where he referred to Zubin as “something I would always have between me and my boys”. Umm…ok. This jives well with the growing trend of “involved” dads who provide more than just supportive input in the rearing process of the child. You have to grow your young talent as your old team starts losing its cohesion.

Now I am all for choice of lifestyle. Trust me, if you do not want a wife, do not get married, and if you do not want kids, keep it in check. And there really is no moral imperative to reproduce these days. But on the facts, trying to maintain a family is larger resource drain than being single. So the magazines, the gear, this site it is all a testament to the break that parents need vis-à-vis the childfree. Frankly I challenge anyone who thinks that doing some form of the wife/kid thing is the easy route. It WILL kick your ass.

In the Times story (which on second blush seems like a thinly veiled product placement) refers to “Baby Bulldozers” making public places difficult for non-parents. Well, expect more of it. With “alpha-moms” teaming up with “involved” dads, the SUV stroller is going to be knocking over anyone without the proper gear. So to the listless lads and the spinsters, I say: help push this thing, sack up and get one of your own or get fuck out of the way bitches.